I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
