woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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