Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
