so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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