Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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