My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
