the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
