Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
