Yo dont text me then not text me
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
