The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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