Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
