Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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