So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
