Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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