Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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