masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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