Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
