i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
