I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
