Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
