fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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