i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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