this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
