i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
