Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
