elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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