dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I am one with the molecules
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
