Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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