I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
