smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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