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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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