Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
