Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
