Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She even gives head with a lisp.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
