Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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