playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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