Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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