bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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