it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
