he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is her dick bigger than yours?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
