I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
