She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
