I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
