I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
