Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
