I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
