I'm drive I can fine osifer
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
