For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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