I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
