Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize