wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
