think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
